Why perfectionists abandon the things they love most. A personal essay on identity, all-or-nothing thinking, and giving yourself permission to be a beginner again.
I like the way you refer to your skills as ‘hats’. One of mine is throwing a few edible things together and the end result always tastes great for me and the other half. A tatty hat that's never been shown in public except when I feel like baking cakes, biscuits etc. for the workers (locusts they are).
That’s a great hat to have. If it’s something that makes you happy that’s cool. Doesn’t have to be a skill per se, could also be a kind of group you identify with also.
Oh I struggle with this so much. Why would I start substack if I don't REALLY know how to write? Why would I approach someone at work about this project if I don't think I have the capacity or skill to do it perfectly? And then I watch someone who by my standards does not have it either just do it and figure it out or do not perfectly but it's still better than nothing.
The best thing to really get in our heads is that “good enough really is good enough”. And if you’re a perfectionist, then this probably means your ‘good enough’ is already better than anyone else’s.
I like the way you refer to your skills as ‘hats’. One of mine is throwing a few edible things together and the end result always tastes great for me and the other half. A tatty hat that's never been shown in public except when I feel like baking cakes, biscuits etc. for the workers (locusts they are).
That’s a great hat to have. If it’s something that makes you happy that’s cool. Doesn’t have to be a skill per se, could also be a kind of group you identify with also.
Oh I struggle with this so much. Why would I start substack if I don't REALLY know how to write? Why would I approach someone at work about this project if I don't think I have the capacity or skill to do it perfectly? And then I watch someone who by my standards does not have it either just do it and figure it out or do not perfectly but it's still better than nothing.
The best thing to really get in our heads is that “good enough really is good enough”. And if you’re a perfectionist, then this probably means your ‘good enough’ is already better than anyone else’s.